| Vidaview: Movie Review - Dear Dwayne: Why Did You Take a “Journey 2” the Middle of Nowhere? |
| Written by Alejandro A. Riera |
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Dear Dwayne Johnson “The Rock”: I know you are trying to position yourself as the go-to guy for family entertainment while keeping another foot firmly planted on the kind of action movie you’ve built your reputation on since you first burst into the big screen with “The Mummy Returns” and “The Scorpion King.” You have charisma to spare. You are charming even when you are ready to whoop some ass. Seeing you go mano a mano with Vin Diesel in “Fast Five” was one of the many pleasures of that outstanding summer movie (which, by the way, brought back memories of such wild smash-‘em up 70s movies like “Dirty Mary Crazy Larry”). But, seriously, Dwayne, when it comes to your latest family film “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” you could have done so much better than surrounding yourself with cousins Brian and Mark Gunn (the scribes behind the direct to video masterpiece “Bring It On Again”) and Brad Peyton (the director of “Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore”). After all, you are one of the producers to this sequel to 2008’s “Journey to the Center of the Earth.” Let me put it this way, Dwayne: I do not know what was worse the lower back pain I’ve been putting up with this past week or this movie. I’m right now declaring a tie between the two.
Let me, for a moment, share with our readers part of the film’s plot. Sean (Josh Hutcherson, the only leftover from the original film) is almost arrested by the town police for climbing up a satellite tower and is released into the custody of Hank, your character. Turns out Sean was intercepting a coded message he believes was sent by his missing grandfather Alexander. Your character is an ex-Navy man who was not only trained in geology but also knows how to crack a code and in a rare moment between your earnest stepfather and the rebellious stepson, your character cracks the code. According to the message, Verne, Robert Louis Stevenson (“Treasure Island”) and Jonathan Swift (“Gulliver’s Travels”) wrote about the same mysterious island and, wouldn’t you know it, one of the books has the actual coordinates to the island…somewhere near the island of Palau in the South Pacific. You then hire the services of the pilot of a rickety helicopter (is there any other kind?) named Gabato (Luis Guzmán in one of his worst performances) and his daughter. Once you reach the coordinates, you encounter a nasty series of storms, the helicopter is swallowed by a tornado and, somehow, all four of you wake up, unharmed, on the beaches of the mysterious island. You are soon rescued from danger by Grandpa Alexander (Michael Caine cashing a check), and your entourage is taken on a tour of the island that leads to the city of Atlantis (of course) where you soon discover that the island is sinking fast and you must find Captain Nemo’s dormant ship, the Nautilus, to escape before it’s too late. You ride on giant bees that are attacked by birds and stare in awe at a volcano that spews lava made of gold. And, frankly, that’s pretty much it. There is no actual adventure, no actual thrills, just a Universal Studios Theme Park-style ride that takes you from Look, I know this movie is pitched primarily at 10-year-olds but there is no reason why they have to be treated like idiots. They, as well as their parents and older relatives, want good stories that stimulate their imagination. And considering that your average 10-year-old is far more technologically savvy than you or I what they get here is, quite frankly, very bland. At least in the original film version of “The Mysterious Island” (1961), its heroes fought against giant crabs and other above and underwater beasties. Here’s the other thing that bugs me about “Journey 2”: its sanctimonious daddy issues. Every male character, with the exception of Gabato, abandoned their kids or was abandoned by their father. The subject is handled with such embarrassing carelessness that it feels tacked on as if, at the last minute, the scriptwriters felt the film had to be about something. Here’s some advice: rent the first four seasons of “The Sarah Jane Adventures,” the CBBC spin-off of “Doctor Who” where issues such as aging, divorce, abandonment, and homelessness were handled with maturity and intelligence while its cast of characters fended off a weekly alien invasion. “The Sarah Jane Adventures” is a perfect example of fun, thrilling, and, yes, even respectful family entertainment. Take notes and apply them to your next family film. That being said, Dwayne, I am really looking forward to your next film: “G.I. Joe: Retaliation.” That movie promises to kick so much ass… Until then, respectfully yours, Alejandro A. Riera
Alejandro A. Riera writes about culture (Latino and non-Latino alike) in his blog culturebodega
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  written by Biggest Rock Fan, February 11, 2012
Everything the Rock touches is a success from wrestling to movies!!! I don't care what you say about him or the movie I am going to see it.
written by Alejandro Riera, February 11, 2012
Based on yesterday's box office numbers, more people went to see Jar Jar Binks in 3D (really? They are sick!) than The Rock. Many more opted for the telenovela-ish The Vow. The Vow grossed 15.1 million while Star Wars Episode 1 in 3D grossed 8.5 and Journey 2 6.5 (and Journey 2 is playing in 3470 theaters, 700 more than Star Wars Episode 1…granted we'll have to see the final b.o. numbers on Monday but at this point it looks like the weepy/St. Valentine's Day appropriate The Vow will be the big earner this weekend).
written by Alejandro Riera, February 12, 2012
And "Journey 2" now surpassed the re-release of "The Phantom Menace" in the box-office with an estimated take of 27.5 million. "The Vow" is the clear b.o. champion of the week with an estimated weekend take of 41.4 million.
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February 10, 2012, 9:32am CST (Dear Dwayne: Why Did You Take a “Journey 2” the Middle of Nowhere?) Read my letter to Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson ... I had to 'Layeth the Smacketh Down' on his Candy A** ...
Both movies’ concept is actually pretty neat: what if Jules Verne had disguised as fiction his actual adventures around and beyond this world? And what if an actual family of Verneians, acolytes of Verne, were to follow on their hero’s footsteps using his books as their guide? The problem is that, while “Journey to the Center of the Earth” was an enjoyable thrill ride “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” really lacks that sense of adventure that its characters proclaim throughout the film.
point A to point B while director Payton throws as much crap to the screen as humanly possible since this was shot in EYE-POPPING 3D!!!!!!! (And, frankly, after the brilliant tri-dimensional marvels magicians like Martin Scorsese, James Cameron, the folks at Pixar and even Werner Herzog pulled out of their hats recently, I thought we wereway beyond such cheap tricks when it comes to 3D.)
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